Learning From Alone Time

The slight oblivion wore off when I was chatting with someone from home the other day.  She was bored because all her roommates were out of town.  And all of her other friends were visiting home or at weddings or what have you.  And my friend was by herself for the first day in a while.  No one to talk to. 

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What, that’s not normal? 

Heh.

I miss community.  Real, earthy, I-don’t-even-remember-how-we-met community.  Sitting on a rooftop drinking wine until the early hours because you can’t help it.  Belly laughing until you pee a little.  Accidentally having 3-hour coffee dates. 

I have friends here.  I have community.  I go to PWOC every Tuesday and find a breath of fresh air.  It’s so comfortable.  I have a few “go to” people that I call if I want to try out that new restaurant or go see that movie on base or if I need company on the day my husband leaves.  My friend April is an actual God-send.  It’s nice to have a person here.  For living here a mere 8 months, it’s more than I can ask for.

But the good stuff, the really good stuff takes years.  So I guess that’s what I’ll have to give these developing friendships. 

I realized in church last weekend that it would actually be wrong to give up.  Wrong.  One of the most isolating situations I find myself in right now is Sunday morning Divine Liturgy.  It sounds really sad.  You’re probably thinking I should find a new church, but that’s not what I need at all.  The church I attend is Japanese.  It's also Orthodox.  I am neither.  Nor am I Romanian or Russian or any other culture in which Orthodoxy is deeply rooted.  When my husband is gone, I am the sole American who attends.  There with my Japanese-English Divine Liturgy ‘script’.  Still learning about Orthodoxy. 

But even though it feels a little funny on certain days when loneliness is crouching at my door, I need to keep going.   And allow myself to be in this great cloud of witnesses.  I have been told explicitly to not give up. 

23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. 24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.  (Hebrews 10)

It is God’s intention that we live among people.  And I now know the detriments of ignoring this intention.  So I will keep Hebrews 10 in my heart, and everything will somehow work out.  New friendships will grow and old ones will be nurtured in their own way. 

Exhale.