Salt & Pepper

I had a great day. 

 

It's been a struggle to find people who become more than acquaintances.  It requires constant work and intention, and you often forget or get tired of trying.  I left a meeting on base today completely drained.  But I went to a lady "first date" at a coffee shop and was filled, to the brim, and refreshed more than I have been in a while.  I don't jive with all Navy wives, but I think I'm on the brink of making another really close friend.  And that's really important. 

 

I am so excited.

 

But unfortunately, I'm down again.  Please do not misunderstand me: I am so blessed to find any friends here.  And I am giddy with anticipation in waiting for these relationships to grow.  Like a six-year-old who returned from her first day of 1st grade with a whole bunch of new friends, I told my husband all about my new buddy, even the tidbits I knew he didn't want to know.  You're sometimes excited beyond the point of helping yourself.

 

I am jazzed.

 

But tonight, in lieu of seeing all my husband with his friends, his familiars and the people he loves to be around, I miss my best friend.  I have no excuse for feeling this way, and no justification.  My best friend will fly here in a week, and that is ... just too wonderful for words.  But I miss her.  I miss living life with her.  I miss going out with her in the way my husband is out with his friends right now.  The friends who I enjoy being around, but am not as familiar with.  The friends I don't have jokes with.  Who are still my acquaintances. 

 

They unintentionally sadden me.   Because what they have with each other?  I have that and more with a person who lives 8,000 miles away.  Who loves me deep enough to take time and money (and energy) to fly here to be with me.  Until then, I shall be sad.  But when she arrives, I expect I'll be full.  Full of that joy again.  Beyond anything I can grasp right now.  Oh when that day comes ...

 

It turns out wanderlust is a double-edged sword.