Learning From Alone Time

The slight oblivion wore off when I was chatting with someone from home the other day.  She was bored because all her roommates were out of town.  And all of her other friends were visiting home or at weddings or what have you.  And my friend was by herself for the first day in a while.  No one to talk to. 

lolawashername.blogspot.com

What, that’s not normal? 

Heh.

I miss community.  Real, earthy, I-don’t-even-remember-how-we-met community.  Sitting on a rooftop drinking wine until the early hours because you can’t help it.  Belly laughing until you pee a little.  Accidentally having 3-hour coffee dates. 

I have friends here.  I have community.  I go to PWOC every Tuesday and find a breath of fresh air.  It’s so comfortable.  I have a few “go to” people that I call if I want to try out that new restaurant or go see that movie on base or if I need company on the day my husband leaves.  My friend April is an actual God-send.  It’s nice to have a person here.  For living here a mere 8 months, it’s more than I can ask for.

But the good stuff, the really good stuff takes years.  So I guess that’s what I’ll have to give these developing friendships. 

I realized in church last weekend that it would actually be wrong to give up.  Wrong.  One of the most isolating situations I find myself in right now is Sunday morning Divine Liturgy.  It sounds really sad.  You’re probably thinking I should find a new church, but that’s not what I need at all.  The church I attend is Japanese.  It's also Orthodox.  I am neither.  Nor am I Romanian or Russian or any other culture in which Orthodoxy is deeply rooted.  When my husband is gone, I am the sole American who attends.  There with my Japanese-English Divine Liturgy ‘script’.  Still learning about Orthodoxy. 

But even though it feels a little funny on certain days when loneliness is crouching at my door, I need to keep going.   And allow myself to be in this great cloud of witnesses.  I have been told explicitly to not give up. 

23 Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. 24 Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. 25 And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.  (Hebrews 10)

It is God’s intention that we live among people.  And I now know the detriments of ignoring this intention.  So I will keep Hebrews 10 in my heart, and everything will somehow work out.  New friendships will grow and old ones will be nurtured in their own way. 

Exhale.  

Kinkaku-ji

I have a confession to make. 

Even though we live in Japan, with all its richness of history and tradition, in all the glory of its super old structures and artifacts … my husband and I aren’t much for temples and shrines. 

Gasp!

We’ve seen many.  And can’t deny that they’re fantastic.  They’re stunning and so old and rustic.  But for the most part, you see one and you’ve seen them all. 

A lot of people go to Kyoto in particular to go shrine and temple hopping.  Because there are a gajillion of them there.  Yes, a gajillion.  So when we were planning to go, I kindly wrote off really going to any temples. 

Until I did my research and discovered Kinkaku-ji.

This temple was placed on a pond and covered in gold leaf.  Again, I say gasp!  I knew we had to go.  The path leading around the grounds takes you past the Golden Pavilion, other small scenic ponds, and by an actual tea garden.  As in people sitting in a garden drinking tea.  Not dreadlocked people serving you bubble tea, though I love that too. 

This temple was legit; and certainly unique among a sea of temple after temple.  The atmosphere was relaxed and you can truly find your zen walking around and just letting your eyes feast. 

Ah the joy of deep, rich, unparalleled history.  

New Address!

This is a milestone.  After struggling with Command Sponsorship, having to work around outdated orders, and quite a few trips to the post office, I have a PO Box.  

YAY.  No more hoping a ship is in port so I can get mail.  No more changes in ship schedule meaning my mail gets rerouted to Sasebo.  No more postman husband.  He was starting to threaten to hijack my Sarah Paquin packages.  That is just not cool.

Now I can get mail.  Boom chicka boom.  

[LTJG Curtis Gaynor and] Carrie Gaynor

PSC 473 Box 2002

FPO, AP 96349-0021

Unlike the ship address, you can make the mail out just to me (I'm my own person now!).  

Send me mail?  Please?  I love pen pals.  And I make a great one.  

Who Let You In Here?

I got email #6 from a safari guide today.  I will always remember #6 as the discouraging one.  You know when you have a hefty goal and you’re pursuing it and things are bound to hit you that hurt?  

Yeah, I’m hurting today. 

I think this is called a setback.

After receiving emails with encouragement and sound advice, this email was full of can’t.  You don’t have experience.  There are two of you.  No one will hire you long distance.  There’s nobody you can go and talk to either. 

Boom. 

Like a large brick.  Scribbled with the words You can’t do this.

Really?  From a stranger?  A stranger in my field?  Full of hippies and dream-makers and white bush men?  Telling me I'm too normal or something?

I’m adventurous, but I’m still a fragile person.  It astounds me how fragile I can be.  Sensitive.  Easily discouraged.  I have a sense that I don’t actually know the world and it gives other people the edge.  Like they do know the world.  I’m naïve, and they’re telling me the ways. 

But this guy does not know the ways of the world.  I can’t allow him to know my ways of the world. 

Today, I am hurting.  But tomorrow will be better. 

 

Talkin' with Davy, Who's Still in the Navy

Navy guys talk Navy.  All you need are two sailors out on the town, and what they’ll do is talk Navy.  I’ve seen it at barbecues.  I’ve seen it at every chu hi stand in town.  I’ve even experienced it on double dates.  It was laughable to me at first – you spend 10-14 hours a day on a ship, and when you get to go home, you want to talk about … this?  But that’s just it.  When you spend so much time thinking Navy, doing Navy, working Navy, and so much time underway, there’s not much else to talk about.  I find it amazing that sailors can still talk about their jobs passionately.  If it were me, I would want to run away, divorce work from home, leave my Navy boots at the door.

So I’ve adapted.  To the Navy talk.  I’ve learned quite a few of the acronyms, the lingo, the jargon.  I know what it means when someone says they're going to the head or they like your cover.  I know who BMC is and that WEPS is now CSO, and all of the inspections coming up.  Despite this, I fall behind.  There are always hundreds more acronyms that are foreign to me.  People I’m unfamiliar with.  Processes beyond my understanding.  I would probably understand better if they were speaking Japanese; I might then be able to at least identify the subject matter.  It no longer bothers me, actually.  I know that if we’re out for a drink with 3 other guys from SHILOH wardroom – like we were last night – the talk will be Navy.  When the conversation ends up over my head, I have a chance to relax, sit back a little, and enjoy the atmosphere.  I’ve learned to truly take it for what it is. 

But the thing about sailors is that most of them are very considerate.  Respectful.  And they’re more than Joe Navys.  They have ambitions, and can talk culture, or politics (though I don’t recommend it).  Most like adventure.  Some like poetry.  The majority can talk religion.  They like karaoke and photography.

Last night, midst the deep Navy talk (i.e., I can’t even try to understand), I was quietly enjoying my surroundings and catching glimpses of the movie showing at the bar we were at.  One of the guys took notice.  “SO CARRIE, how’s Africa?”  It completely threw me and everyone else off guard.  And we all laughed at the turn the conversation had taken.  Though I wasn’t irked in the slightest to begin with, it blessed me immensely to be pursued in that way.  I was back in the game, talking the northern circuit of Tanzania and how adventurous Greg needs to go to Southern Uganda to white water raft and bunji jump and Western Uganda to see gorillas.  It filled my soul to be engaged in conversation. 

I very much appreciate the kind of person that joins the Navy.  They are adaptable and flexible.  They’ve learned to carry conversation and know people quickly.  They’ve learned to show respect for people, even when they don’t have respect for certain people.  And they work hard.  It makes for quite the person. 

The civilian sphere should be a little jealous.

Subarashii desu!

Japan is kind of ridiculous in how beautiful it is.  There are urban centers (or … it’s just one giant urban center altogether, haven't decided yet).  There are more shrines and temples than you’ll ever have time to see.  There are gardens.  Plum blossoms come in the spring right before sakura (cherry blossoms) are in full bloom.  There are people everywhere.  Even things that are regular have character.  

I’ve taken quite a bit of photos – each saying 1000 words just like the saying goes.  Here are some of my favorites so far:

At Hachimangu Shrine; my 2nd week living in Japan.

Harajuku; cosplay is best on Sundays.

A shrine around the block from our house.
Yes, this is my life.

Yokohama's Minatomirai cityscape.
Favorite.

Hakiwa Maru, a museum ship in Yamashita Park, Yokohama.

Yokohama Station.

Kamakura.

Sankeien Gardens. 

Cafe Bibliotec Hello! in Kyoto.

Fushimi Inari Shrine, Kyoto -
Home of the 1000 Torii Gates.

Fushimi Inari Shrine.
Right before I trekked the wrong way up the mountain
and got wonderfully lost.

Lost on Inari Mountain.
Oh well, right?

Fushimi Inari Shrine.

Iwatayama Monkey Park, Kyoto.
More on this one later ;)

Oh Mr. Sun

Despite the cloudy forecast, I got up at the wee hours of the morning in pursuit of a solar eclipse.  It was touch and go for a while (hence, the cloudy photos), but it turned out to be an amazing experience. The cloud cover turned out to be great for viewing (safely) and the bay was active with ships and boats.  What a great way to start my week.  I was stunned at how quickly the light would change.  The last photo in this stream is the reflection of light on the water.  It was all I could do in that moment, because it was so intensely bright.  This is what I came up with.  Forgive my lack of zoom lens!

Airplane!

Siiiiick.