Living on the Cusp

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It's been three years since I started attending the Orthodox Church. In any other story, I would actually be Orthdox after that long; I would've normally gone through about a year of catecuminate, and would've been chrismated (instated, in a way) into the Orthodox Church. I would take the eucharist every week and participate regularly in confession.

But our lives haven't been normal.

Between study abroad, getting married, and moving to Japan, this hasn't been able to happen. But man alive. The road has been (and will continue to be) riddled with challenges to becoming Orthodox, but it has been a beautiful journey to say in the least. The Orthodox Church is gracious in allowing the non-Orthodox to still participate in most traditions. This sounds like a given, especially for a Protestant believer, and many see closed communion as exclusive and somewhat elitist. But the Orthodox believe when we commune, we become one with Christ and a sole body with each other. We are not just communing with Christ, we are being brought together. To commune with someone who does not yet adhere to Orthodox beliefs would be to live out a unification that doesn't (sometimes doesn't yet) exist.

Anyway. Though I am not Orthodox, I still get to participate in many events and traditions throughout the year, and in any given Orthodox Church, we are welcomed with open arms more than I've experienced in many other places. My husband and I have been able to experience Orthodoxy (although me not to the fullest), and slowly study and reflect on what it means to be Orthodox.

I am thankful for the preparation.

The real challenge, for me, is also something that I love about Orthodoxy. In many parts of the world, including the US, it's the best kept secret. I didn't even know Orthodoxy existed until a few years ago. It's a world out of the spotlight, and that allows it to operate well. But this also means that Orthodoxy isn't in all places, and that there isn't a given demand for it. I am thankful that Orthodoxy exists in Japan (thank you, St. Nicholas!), but in the military? Less so. I wish I could just dive in to this Church, but what I also need is day in, day out community.

For now, this means having one foot in the Orthodox world and one in the Protestant one. This often means a constant internal struggle. In some ways, and unfortunately so, these two churches either have differing approaches or are on completely different paths altogether. This is not to say that the core is not the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But beyond this core, if things are constantly different, it can be challenging, especially if you're trying to dive into a particular one.

But I was encouraged at my last Protestant women's event, and God is reminding me that it is (in fact!) ok! It's hard to explain, and I don't think I'll try in print, but the Protestant church allows me to continue to fall in love with the Orthodox one. It's like both are in agreement about my future, and are thus passing me from one to the other. Protestantism is letting me go and pushing me with its fingertips, and glory be, it feels good in my heart.

 

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